Marriage Counselling & Therapy in Dubai
By Diana Tutschek, Couples Therapist & Psychologist in Dubai, UAE
Couples Therapist in Dubai and Internationally: Some Insights Into Marital Distress
Working as a couples therapist in Dubai, Europe and online, I became aware of the diverse array of challenges couples may encounter. Relationship problems may stem from
- individual differences,
- disagreements on child-rearing,
- dysfunctional communication,
- issues with jealousy,
- coping with infidelity
- intimacy issues
or other marital challenges, which I aid couples in dealing with through online or in-person therapy.
In this article, I will focus on relationship problems that may arise from the distinct cultural backgrounds of a couple.
These challenges often encompass
- identity struggles,
- disagreements about fundamental beliefs,
- clashes in parenting styles,
- difficulties with unsupportive families,
- conflicting interpretations of (cultural) events.
I aim to help such partners find ways to reclaim their identity while still integrating well into their partner’s culture.
Relationships heavily depend on couples’ mastery to manage tension innate in sustaining both separate and shared identities.
In intercultural relationships, partners manage cultural differences in diverse ways. Generally speaking, when couples de-emphasise cultural differences, they build their identity through shared events and relationship milestones.
As a psychologist and therapist counselling couples in Dubai, Vienna and via online platforms, I have observed that the partners often need to make numerous amendments and adjustments as they navigate living together. And when those tunings comprise negotiating cultural differences, it inserts another element into endeavouring to strengthen the marriage.
Being married to someone from a different culture may be challenging. However, it can offer some exquisite and inspiring prospects for growth.
Navigating Cultural Differences in Marriage: Four Adjustment Styles
Using ecological systems theory, Seshadri and Knudson-Martin (2013) explored how couples deal with intercultural differences to create stronger relationships. They discovered that intercultural couples used to manage their cultural dissimilarities according to four relationship styles:
- integrated,
- co-existing,
- singularly assimilated,
- unresolved.
Couples who employ any of the first three styles usually report being satisfied. On the other hand, unresolved partners typically struggle to manage their differences.
- Integrated partners blend their cultures, validating and celebrating both, creating a harmonious fusion.
- Coexisting couples maintain their individual cultural identities while finding mutual validation and appreciation for their unique ways of life.
- Singularly assimilated partners embrace one culture, often overshadowing the other, without feeling offended.
- Unresolved couples struggle to navigate their differences, either dismissing them or engaging in continuous conflict without resolution.
Four Conflict Resolution Styles
D. Romano (2008) interviewed multiple intercultural couples and summarised their challenges. The typical problems of those marriages included gender roles, living place, religion, time, dietary and eating habits, values, attitudes toward ethnocentrism, ways of dealing with stress, etc. Romano has introduced a concept of intercultural marriage conflict and four styles of navigating through differences and resolving the conflict. The styles comprise consensus, elimination, compromise and submission.
- The submission style, where one partner submits to the other’s culture, is rather popular but may not always work. Sometimes, it’s only a public display, while the relationship is balanced in private. However, it often involves sacrificing certain aspects of one’s own culture.
- The compromising style requires sacrifices from both partners, giving up cultural habits or values to accommodate each other. According to game theorists, it is a lose-lose or no-win situation.
- The obliteration style involves erasing cultural identities for a new one, which can be difficult for family members. It may be a good option in a foreign country.
- The consensus style is the ideal approach, based on mutual agreement and negotiation. It allows for cultural preservation and is considered a win-win situation.
Strategies to Manage Cultural Differences in Marriage
As a couples therapist and marriage counsellor, I find it useful to employ solution-focused strategies to address the issues arising from cultural differences between spouses. This approach involves the following considerations:
- Creating a sense of “we-ness”: Rebuilding a shared meaning in the marriage by emphasising commitment, similar goals, common ground, and friendship.
- Negotiating roles: Discussing expectations regarding everyday responsibilities and finding mutually agreeable ways to allocate these commitments. Effective communication and problem-solving skills are vital for a functional and successful marriage, regardless of the couple’s cultural backgrounds.
- Approaching differences with humour: Using mutually acceptable humour can help alleviate potential stress and tension in culturally diverse situations.
- Considering deference to partner’s cultural preferences: Being open to accommodating differences by deferring to your partner’s cultural preferences. Alternatively, maintaining flexibility by navigating the two cultural systems while keeping them distinct and finding common ground in beliefs and practices.
- Recognising similarities: Acknowledging similarities in traditions, beliefs, or values, and emphasising these areas of sameness in your relationship.
Tips from a Couples Therapist for Overcoming Cultural Differences in Marriage: Summing Up
Navigating cultural differences in marriage can pose unique challenges for couples. My comprehensive practice as a couples therapist in a multicultural Dubai and Vienna environment has revealed that these challenges often encompass identity struggles, disagreements on fundamental beliefs, clashes in parenting styles, difficulties with unsupportive families, and contrasting interpretations of cultural events. Over the years, I’ve assisted couples in finding ways to preserve aspects of their identities while harmoniously integrating into their partner’s culture.
De-Emphasising Cultural Differences
For couples to thrive in multicultural relationships, they should be able to manage the inherent tension of distinct and shared identities. Partners may employ various strategies to navigate their differences, from blending their cultures to co-existing with individual identities.
Successful partnerships often happen when couples emphasise shared experiences and relationship milestones as they work to de-emphasise cultural disparities.
Resolving Tensions Arising From Cultural Differences
Research indicates that intercultural couples often manage their differences through integrated, co-existing or singularly assimilated styles, which tend to improve relationship satisfaction. However, those who leave the tensions arising from cultural differences unresolved and sweep them under the carpet tend to face ongoing struggles within their marriages.
Addressing and resolving conflicts in intercultural relationships may require the consideration of four distinct styles: consensus, elimination, compromise, and submission. While submission and compromise may involve sacrificing elements of one’s culture, consensus is considered the ideal approach, promoting mutual agreement and negotiation to preserve cultural identities while achieving a win-win outcome.
Focus on the Solution
As a marriage counsellor, I find it sometimes helpful to employ solution-focused strategies to aid couples in solving various problems, including those related to cultural differences. This approach involves creating a shared sense of identity, negotiating roles and responsibilities, using humour to ease tensions, accommodating cultural preferences and recognising and emphasising the similarities in traditions and values.
My expertise as a psychologist and couples therapist working with intercultural couples in Dubai and Vienna has revealed that it is possible to embrace a new culture while preserving your identity and uniqueness. Yet, professional help may be useful in navigating the complexities of merging different cultural aspects within a relationship constructively.
Indeed, relationship difficulties are different for different couples at different points in time. In couples therapy and marriage counselling, we address all possible causes of marital distress if a couple decides to work on improving and strengthening their bond and intimacy. Therapy sessions take place in person, online or both.
Psychologist and Couples Therapist in Dubai: Book an Appointment
I am a licensed psychologist, psychotherapist and couples counsellor trained in Austria and the UK. To learn more about my educational background and professional experience, please click here.
To enquire about or schedule an appointment in Dubai, please get in touch with me at
+971504328841 (WhatsApp), d.tutschek@chmc-dubai.com or use the booking/contact form here