Couples Therapy for Relationship Conflicts
Embracing Individual Differences and Applying Mindfulness Techniques to Address Relationship Issues: Couples Therapy
Acceptance and Tolerance of Individual Differences
Couples therapy deals with various challenges that couples encounter throughout their journey. Marriage counsellors and couples therapists stress the importance of addressing intolerance of individual differences. Individual differences refer to the variation among people regarding a particular characteristic or several characteristics that distinguish one person from another. Individual differences comprise dissimilarities among people due to experience, temperament, personality traits, capabilities/disabilities, physical appearance, education, socioeconomic background, religion, ethnicity, race, gender, age and any other attribute distinguishing among people.
The inability to tolerate these differences might regularly lead to resentment or disagreements. Consequently, couples therapy (whether in-person or online through communication platforms) may comprise interventions to facilitate the acceptance of essential differences or disparities between partners.
Below, I present an example of a therapeutic method that I might employ to tackle the issue of intolerance of individual differences in partners. Importantly, therapy may involve a blend of several approaches, or in some cases, no techniques at all, depending on what the therapist considers most beneficial.
Acceptance is achievable by developing an empathic understanding of the other’s experience and working together as a team to deal with hardships.
To attain this, the part of couples therapy that addresses intolerance of individual differences targets three objectives:
- acceptance,
- tolerance,
- change.
Couples Therapy: Boosting Acceptance
Strategies to boost acceptance aim at suggesting partners new ways of considering their issues. To work on acceptance, couples therapists may find the empathic joining and unified detachment techniques rather effective.
Empathic joining unveils each partner’s vulnerability by letting them express their standpoint on a problem while being listened to by their partner and the counsellor. Therefore, my mission as a couple’s therapist is to promote the expression of feelings instead of blaming, accusing, commenting on or criticising the partner’s behaviours.
Similarly, unified detachment aims at ceasing blame or accusations by helping partners develop a more neutral and less emotional perspective on their differences and issues.
Moreover, a couple learns to consider those problems as subjective rather than a deficiency, shortcoming or imperfection in the other.
Tolerance
Interventions to develop tolerance aim to stop partners from endeavouring to change each other.
Change
Change strategies help strengthen and encourage positive behaviours that partners already manifest towards each other. Furthermore, change interventions address a lack of problem-solving and communication skills.
Mindfulness for Relationship Problems
Finally, integrative couples therapists may employ mindfulness-based interventions. These techniques can enhance the acceptance of differences in a partner by promoting self-acceptance as a foundational step. Above all, mindfulness techniques aim at augmenting each partner’s non-judgemental acceptance of their own experiences. Acceptance of their own experiences could ultimately aid them in creating new, helpful ways of connecting. In this manner, mindfulness exercises help enhance the sense of connectedness and intimacy and alleviate relationship difficulties. Mindfulness strategies typically include meditation, relaxation and breathing exercises.
Couples Therapy: Summing Up
Couples therapy, whether in-person or online, often addresses the intolerance of individual differences. Through empathic techniques, couples can work on developing acceptance, tolerance and positive change, fostering healthier connections. Couples therapy, employing strategies like empathic joining and unified detachment, aims to boost acceptance and understanding in relationships. Additionally, mindfulness-based interventions aim to promote self-acceptance and non-judgmental attitudes, contributing to improved connectedness and intimacy.
It was just an example of one of the methods I might use during couples therapy. It is worth noting that, depending on the case, therapy may employ several approaches or none at all.