How can Couples Therapy or Marriage Counselling Help You?
Manage Cultural and Other Individual Differences
Improve Communication and Problem Solving
Cope With Jealousy
Overcome Infidelity
Address Other Causes of Marital Distress
Couples Therapy in Vienna: Understanding Common Marital Challenges, Causes of Distress and the Role of Therapy
By Diana Tutschek, Psychologist—Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy in Vienna (Austria) and Online (Paartherapie und Eheberatung in Wien).
The Importance of Resolving Marital Conflicts
The marriage-health link can manifest in both beneficial and detrimental ways. Evidence extensively supports the positive physical and psychological health benefits of marriage. However, it is crucial to understand how distressed marriages can lead to a decline in both physical and mental well-being. A large body of research reveals that besides deteriorating physical health, higher levels of marital conflict have caused a notable increase in symptoms of anxiety, depression and other psychiatric conditions. Adequately addressing and resolving marital conflicts on time may prevent or markedly minimise the damaging effects of marital discord on mental and physical health.
Couples Therapy in Vienna and Online: Common Marriage Problems and Themes of Marital Conflict
Individuals or couples seek marriage counselling or couples therapy (whether online or in-person) to address different topics. Marriage partners may seek couples therapy because of increased severity or frequency of quarrels, a specific issue or set of issues they are unable to resolve or a lack of intimacy. A couple may present with a “depressed” marriage that involves a persistent feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and dissatisfaction with the relationship. Or they may simply present with unclear and non-specific frustration about their relationship.
Moreover, it is also common for the partners to feel ‘trapped’ in their relationship. They seek marriage counselling and couples therapy as an ultimate attempt at resolution before initiating divorce or separation.
The decision to engage in couples therapy is frequently prompted by issues such as an extradyadic affair (infidelity) or pathological jealousy. Furthermore, major life transitions as well as cultural or other individual differences, often play a significant role in motivating couples to seek couples therapy or marriage counselling.
Seeking Individual Therapy Amid Marital Discord
In addition, marital conflict can cause each partner to seek individual therapy. It is possible that one or both partners does not attribute their current difficulties solely to marital issues.
Thus, marital problems often cause a person to seek individual treatment for a mental health condition, such as depression or various types of anxiety disorders. Or to pursue medical help for physical symptoms.
Any mental health condition in one or both partners should be addressed individually either in parallel with or before engaging in couples treatment together.
Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy in Vienna: My Approach to Treating Marital Distress
As a licensed integrative marriage counsellor experienced in providing couples counselling or therapy in Vienna, Dubai (UAE) and online internationally, I might utilise a variety of approaches for treating marital distress. Yet, I am considerably influenced by cognitive-behavioural, family systems and emotionally-focused theories. Throughout couples therapy, I frequently incorporate strategies derived from these schools. However, in some instances, I may find it more useful not to use any of the approaches.
Couples therapy aims to enhance communication and problem-solving skills, improve intimacy, reform dysfunctional thinking patterns and find ways to avoid unhelpful conflict escalation. Furthermore, in couples therapy, we strive to strengthen the emotional connection between partners and form new interactions that foster attachment security. Alternatively, we may address marital conflicts by exploring whether partners would benefit from taking separate paths.
Causes of Marital Distress: a Cognitive–Behavioural Perspective
Reciprocated Negative Interactions
Distressed partners usually have limited, if any, pleasant and rewarding interactions but many blaming, demanding, gruelling or angry ones. Reciprocated negative behaviour is often a focal characteristic of interactions between troubled couples. If one partner behaves negatively, the other partner is unlikely to be kind. This often leads to a sequence of intensifying negative behaviours. Such a sequence of negative interactions in a couple having marital difficulties might begin with one partner expecting to be criticised for something. The components of the initial argument are a negative expectation of one partner from the other and reciprocated destructive exchanges (escalating criticism).
In addition, distressed partners are reactive. Positive or negative situations potently influence how the partners feel about or assess their bond at any given time. Since the partners are so used to feeling criticised, they may cease attending sensibly to one another. Instead, they plan a counter-attack to the primary (expected or perceived) criticism.
Lacking Conflict-Resolution Skills
Furthermore, a prominent characteristic of a distressed relationship is a lack of ability to resolve conflict. This deficiency in conflict-resolution and problem-solving skills leaves couples with a surplus of unresolved problems and fights accumulated over their relationship.
Reinforcement erosion
Reinforcement erosion occurs when partners fail to have the satisfaction that was once existing in the relationship. It might be credited to habituation: pleasurable at-one-time interactions became not significant any longer. Spouses may be unable to appreciate each other’s attempts and start taking each other for granted. Additionally, they may have new needs that their spouses have not yet managed to meet. One or both partners may have ceased doing some pleasurable things that previously helped maintain many warm emotions between them.
Destructive Patterns in Marriage
In addition, all of the mentioned factors may contribute to destructive patterns of disputes, criticism and neglect. The factors reinforce negative beliefs and expectations regarding the other partner and the relationship.
Can marriage counselling or couples therapy help in resolving relationship conflicts?
Couples counselling or therapy may be effective whether conducted online or in-person. It has the potential to transform a distressed life into a healthier and more fulfilling one. This is what I mean by ”counselling for a better life”. However, the outcome depends on the direction the partners choose. If they agree to move forward together, this transformation is achieved through de-escalation, nurturing secure interactions and reinforcing new ways of interacting. Importantly, meaningful therapy requires time and commitment.
Couples Therapy & Marriage Counselling in Vienna (Austria) and Online: Psychologist Diana Tutschek
I am a psychologist and counsellor trained in the UK (King’s College London) and Austria (University of Vienna; AAP). I provide individual psychological consultations and couples therapy or marriage counselling online and in person in 1060 Vienna, Austria (Paartherapie in Wien).
To enquire about or book an appointment, please get in touch with me at diana@betterlifepsychologist.com or via this contact/booking form.